Saturday, August 2, 2003

Black Thoughts

Logfile from TwoMoons - Savith.


East Bank of the Silver Run River

The lands of the Abode surround you.

At the rivers edge, a pool has formed, sheltered by huge rocks on the west side, allowing the water there to collect and empty out somewhat at odd intervals. Here it seems a good place for the washing out of leathers, bathing of bodies and general relaxing, though the waters you find are chilled. There is smooth white sand, surprisingly, under your feet and you find yourself smiling at this pleasant place. There are a few trees scattered over the beach, providing shade as well patches of cleared ground. The bank here begins tapering off into thick woods, limbs covered with gaily colored leaves as the holt prepares for the season of DeathSleep. Dead and dying shrubs and undergrowth encroaches all around as the bank blends with and eventually becomes the forest. Tiny bugs zip around at ankle height, and occasionally a fish leaps out to snatch at one of them. It is a cool autumn afternoon. The father tree is quiet as elves and wolves sleep in their dens.


After being told she should get some rest, Larias stayed up another hour, unable to sleep with her mind so busy. But as the two moons reached the apex of their arc in the sky, she finally succumbed and moved to the shaped shelter. Initially her sleep was quite peaceful, relaxed, that is until she begins to dream. Her fists clench and unclench reflexively, brows furrow and she murmurs softly, unintelligibly.


Savith had past the night playing Quick Stop by himself, flicking from tree to tree to tree, forcing a stop just before he touches the bark. But htat game is done, and he's bathed and washed his uniform. Sigh. This place is more boring that the mountain. But... he's at least relaxed. At least, until Larias begins to dream. High ones. He watches her a moment, sensing her emotions, wondering if the dreams are bad or not, as if searching for an excuse to slip in.


She curls up, then twists abruptly, the motion threatening to waken Llune. Again, Larias rolls, ending up back where she had started, perhaps not bad, they still are not ones she really wishes to have. A half sent thought reaches out to touch Savith's mind, ** No... ** the same tone, the same emotions as when Recognition struck.


Savith's eyes narrow at the send. It causes a reflex, the swell of those feelings. Moving with great silence and care not to disturb, he floats in and kneels by Larias. 'Bad dreams you shouldn't have,' he thinks, but really, it's mostly curiousity and... something else.


You locksend to Larias, Savith moves to creep in, drawn by that half-send. **You can't resist this,** he comments softly, playing on the moment, using it to work his way in past whatever defenses she may have had.


Pale brows furrow, whats that? She threatens to wake, a murmur of words melding together into something that really doesn't mean a thing. Abruptly, she rolls on to her back, then grows still, as her dreaming takes a tighter hold and she slips deeply back into herself.


You sense in a locksend, Larias's mind recoils from yours for a moment. Quickly though it becomes evident, its not from your mind, but from the dream of it touching her, of eyes meeting eyes and souls touching forever. She is back there in the Main Hall, the room dark and shadowy, draped in the cloth of Winnowill's dress. And there Savith is, the pillar taller, more imposing than it ever could be in life, attached to the pillar, stretched out more than a body could truly take. Her eyes are round as saucers as she looks up at the fixed Chosen, ** No. I have to leave, I can't stay, you know this. **


Savith's eyes remain open, fixed on Larias, though almost not really seeing her.


You locksend to Larias, Savith takes full advantage of the situation, and settles himself in the darkness to watch. Again he replies, though staying hidden, **To deny this is death for us both.** Oh, and the memory of Winnowill's words, "His death will be on your hands." That part of Savith that's learned to press his self-tortures on others, snickers at it. What fun this is. To torture without torturing.


Larias's expression drops, despite her eyes being closed, she looks crestfallen, nearly defeated. The light sense of sending magic passing between her and Savith as she sleeps.


You sense in a locksend, Larias scrambles back as the cloth surrounding the Main Hall coalesces, forming the black dress and hair of the Mountains Lord. Fluttering eyes look upon Larias narrowly, cold, liquid pools of darkness, the memory of Winnowill's sending, ** If he dies Larias, I will get a child from you. ** The unspoken threat, that Tsoran will be there. Abruptly, Larias goes to fly, dashing to place Savith between herself and Winnowill, but the pillar dances away as she moves, never nearing it, she cries out hopelessly, ** I can't, not here, you can't expect me to here? Can you? **


You locksend to Larias, Savith thinks to himself, 'Perfect. She's on the run again.' This is far easier at getting her to trust him than talking is. He interjects a memory: Winddance. **Take her, run.** Not to mention, if she's living in memory, he'll see what she did, just in case he has to turn her in to save his own neck.


You sense in a locksend, Larias thinks only for a moment as an image of the bird drifts by ensconced in stone. The thought rings out loud and clear in her mind, yes, Winddance! Again the world shifts, there is Savith in his newly redone chambers, laying asleep. Shame washes over her, what has she done, giving in at last to the call of Recognition - creating a child for the Mountain. She turns, imagined eyes peer at her from the few shadows there are in the room, a shocked intake of breath - Tsoran knows, Tsoran will demand that he can follow thru on that long ago promise. Hurriedly she gathers her things, more silent than even a wolfrider, she steals out of the room, ever watchful, she darts from shadow to shadow until the Aerie is reached. Once there, she moves swiftly to Winddance, trilling and cooing to keep the other birds quieted. With bag in hand, she gives Winddance the command to take off. The offhand though, Savith said I could take her, though she knows he did not mean now, not for this reason - not because she could not bring herself to wake up next to him again.


You locksend to Larias, Savith watches. So that's why. Fear. You still fear Tsoran. Savith can only shake his head and follow. Silly old bird. Even now you don't think I can protect you. But those feelings of fear, again spark that need to protect. This is stupid, and answers nothing. It's just memory. So he flies forward, unlike the first time, and halts Winddance with a shrill whistle, **Stop, Larias.**


You sense in a locksend, Larias and Winddance freeze just before take off. Larias's back stiffens, turned away from the form of Savith now ordering Winddance about. Even here, Larias knows that Winddance will listen to Savith over all others. Without warning, Winddance and all the other birds fade into nothingness, leaving her standing there, back still to Savith, her hair, so tightly braided before cascades to the floor, a shield protecting her from sight. Meekly she responds, "Yes Savith..." the words whispered even in the waking world.


You locksend to Larias, Savith watches the world fade, leaving them with just minds linked. He tests the dream, reaching a hand to press against the 'sides' of the bubble world. **You're afraid.**


You sense in a locksend, Larias's dream world ripples as its pressed, so ready to change as her mind gives in to whims, fancies, and fears. For the moment though, it remains as it was, in the Aerie, her back to him, face hidden from his view. Again, she speaks, "Yes Savith. I am." the question is, afraid of what, of who, of where?


You locksend to Larias, Savith feels the world willing to change. He looks over at her, and narrows his eyes. There's only one way to get those nice solid answers about Elian, as he'd like. Drawing on memory, he cloaks himself as the rockshaper, and steps forward, "What are you afraid of, my friend?"


You sense in a locksend, Larias's form stiffens once more, than, relaxes. That voice, that voice is not the one she expected. As she spins round to face Elian, the world ripples, the old Mountain blending in with the way it is today, just as she abruptly is clothed in garb from so long ago. A crown of flowers foolishly donned about her head, two flowers behind each ear. She makes a swift approach to her ancient friend, ** Oh Elian, what am I going to do... ** She swallows, "I shouldn't tell you, I can't. My shame is my own, you should shape, Aurek will be missing you."


You locksend to Larias, Savith tils his head within the guise of Elian. He must take his cues from Larias, and so dons an expression of concern. "There is time to shape, you know that. But something troubles you. What is it?" GAH! THis is sickening! Savith's going to get a cavity!


You sense in a locksend, Larias nods into the dream. She was never afraid of grabbing at Elian before, and there is only a moment of hesitation now. She grabs at his hands with hers, needing the support of an old friend, "I wouldn't give in, and then I did... Oh Elian, how could I be so foolish?" A faint blush mars the maiden's cheeks, "We had to join, we've doomed our child just by giving in..." Desperately she looks up into Elian's eyes, "The other, he may demand the same, he will one day, I know it, and I've no where to run and hide now, nor do I dare fight again. I bested him once, I don't think I've the cold heart to do it again."


You locksend to Larias, Savith's eyes drift down at Larias takes his hands, but he allows it. She hesitated. She's sensing a difference. Good friend, were they? So.... Savith, as Elian, steps forwar to pull Larias into a comforting hug, petting back her hair. (this is SO lovy dovey, Savith thinks he'll be sick for a week!) "It had to be done, sweetheart. What would have done? Watched him wither and die? No, you're not so cruel." He looks down, trying hard to get that concern into his eyes. This is harder than it looks, okay! "Other? What do you mean, other?"


You sense in a locksend, Larias returns the hug tightly, placing her head against his shoulder, the gentleness of her old friend a relief. A light chuckle, "I am not your sweetheart, remember, even you only find me semi-sweet?" Its a lighthearted tease, something meant to improve her mood, but again, she hesitates, no, something isn't right, Elian always teased her about such things, but never actually called her sweetheart, there were no pet name sof that nature she can recall, "You can not truly die from Recognition, can you? Would it have hurt to try and hold a little longer... Oh Elian, my heart was never in such things." A flush to her cheeks as she recalls the embrace of Savith's arms that night. Swallowing hard, "The other... an old promise he's yet to fulfill. We are timeless. That is our way. If it should take a millennia, would he notice? It will happen, some day."


You locksend to Larias, Savith pauses a moment. What is he doing? Toying with Larias as Winnowill would toy with... If she learned, Larias would be furious. He drops the guise slowly, hoping to let Larias believe she shifted the person in her arms. "Yes, you can. Not a wink could you sleep, or a bite could you eat, until it is fullfilled. Nothing else comes to your mind. You know. You felt."


You sense in a locksend, Larias has her head against his shoulder, but there is a shift, shoudler same height, hair is similar to, but something isn't the same. Confused, she backs away, Elian.. no" She shakes her head mind accepting it all so easily, "YOu don't understand. I could sleep when you weren't howling at me through sends. I could eat." At first anyway, "I had the strength but I gave in, to early, to soon." Her face turns crimson, "And you saw me..." Her garb changes abruptly, something made with little skill, the arm of the tunic looks s if its been gnawed, the left side as well has wholes, the flesh visible through the tears, a small chunk missing here, broken bones pressing against flesh in strange ways, and where the wounds are most severe, skin is sewn back to skin with an unskilled hand.


You locksend to Larias, Savith keeps a tight grip on Larias. Not going to run this time. "Yes, how strong you were, then, when I was weakest." But he notices the rough stetches, "Yes. Yes I saw. But tell me, what would oyu have done, if I died? You don't know, do you? Here, this is what it feels like, so you know, what you would have done." Why on earth is he doing this? I don't know, but he opens himself, and shares that moment, the first of his Recognized, her death. He was fast asleep. She was almost forgotten. Then, like skyfire, it struck his soul. He felt it... whatever it was, pierce his flesh. He doubled over, crumbling with the pain of it. Then a touch, and a soft send, **Souldancer... Savith. Goodbye.** He sneers, "That's what what it is, the death of your soul."


You sense in a locksend, Larias struggles against his hold on her, but as the send comes, her hands move up as if to protect her mind from such a thing. She whimpers in the dream and aloud, "Noo.. please I.." The words choked off as the sense of loss encompasses her. Again the world shifts, where loss is best felt, back to the center of her being, to the cold lifeless room in the Mountain where a lost soul was told she could stay. A half murmur of promise, "I wouldn't have let you die... I can't hurt another elf, I won't, not anymore, not again."


You locksend to Larias, Savith flings Larias to the bedpit. And here he rages. "How unkind of you, to press your fears, your loss on me, and recoil when I do the same. You'll feel it one way or another, my /sweet/ Larias." The word drips as he strides forward, shoving forward the second loss of souls, the second time, astride his bond bird. And he fell from her, and crashed into the mountain garden, breaking bones. "I was weak. I would have died. Search your mind. You know that is truth."


You sense in a locksend, Larias's mind pushes back, her body on the stone bed curling into a ball, those defenses she uses against Tsoran, the ones she uses against Winnowill - successfully, slamming up all about her. A scream of a send, their is strength in her old soul, strength which she fears using, ** GET OUT!! **


You locksend to Larias, Savith gets shoved back, loosing his control over Larias's dreams as she fights him. Good, that's it. Rebuild your walls. Once WInnowill catches up to them, you'll need them. He hits the back wall with a dull thump, but grabs the rock around him, to hold him here. **I will not.**


You sense in a locksend, Larias curls more tightly about herself, both in the dream and in the real world. Again her mind pushes, harder than the first time, but still holding back. Her tone, is low, dangerous, no longer the wild lashing out to protect oneself, outrage and ire lend her strength, ** You. Will. Leave. Now. ** Welcome to her mind before, there is no sense of welcoming now. But one must wonder, how she can sleep through this? Has she played this game of sleep and war before? One of Winnowill's games while she was in the Cage not so terribly long ago.


You locksend to Larias, Savith fights against it, though fights more to stay here. Yes, that's it, rage against me. As Larias pommels at him, Savith pulls it in to himself. **No. I will not.** He lets himself get torn under it, looking about for something to help her sort this out. She has fears that must be removed. Tsoran. That's whom she fears. He takes a moment to try to pull that likeness over him.


You sense in a locksend, Larias will not be fooled this time. She is aware, though not awake. Abruptly, she rises from her stone bed, pulling her world in tightly around herself, darkness in its center, the dreams of a subconcious mind around that ball, and surrounding that, wall after wall is put in place. ** How dare you?! I m not your toy! I am not something for you to play with or feed from! ** Her mind lashes out, black with fury, no longer holding back the power she calls her own, ** OUT! ** And with that, a mighty shove, a hurricane of winds, pushing him away, and out, blocking his mind from hers. (pose coming too)


Stirs in her slumber, coming too as the sending magic does not ripple, but erupts from her like a volcano, the brunt of it directed towards Savith. the emotion of the send is black as night, angered and outraged. Blue eyes open and she rises into the air, seething.


Savith was kneeling over Larias, eyes gleaming like cold chips of stone. But at the black send, he recoils, falling backward, as if throw back by the force of it. A pained cry escapes him, waking Rosendo, who immediately begains crying loudly. Savith pants from the blast, writhing under it as it continues.


Larias drops to the ground, her landing silent, eyes cold and stormy unrelenting, unforgiving. But then, Rosendo cries, and her sending is forgotten, something more important must be tended to. With but a thought, she brings her child to her arms, "Hush little one, shh, its over now." So angry though, she can not remove the anger from her voice entirely, poor child, will she use him as a tool against his father now? Is she any better than Winowill?


Savith gasps, trying to catch his breath from teh assault. High ones. That was worse than Winnowill. Probably because Larias could reach his soul without a thought. He rolls to his hands and knees, shaking.


Rosendo continues crying despite Larias's attempts to the contrary. Even the wolfrider guards in the trees know something has just happened, warily eyeing each other, they can smell the emotions heavy in the air. A cold send drifts from the glider to Savith, ** Don't ever try that again. ** That sent, she starts bouncing Rosendo, turning her on Savith. Outraged at what he dared do - he was in her mind, of course she would pour out her hopes and dreams and fears on Elain, not on Savith. And then punish her for his folly, for breaking into her mind. How dare he! Hrmph!


Savith steadies himself, then pushes up, and manages to whisper, "Don't bounce him so hard."


Eases up on the bouncing, Rosendo barely beginning to settle down. The poor hatchling in her arms, not only can he feel her emotions in her sends, but in her arms, they are brutal on his young senses. When a few moments doesn't settle the wee one, she spins around, sending Rosendo in his father's direction, the flight carefully down, "Then you take care of him." Yes, this mom needs a break, else she's likely to break something.


Savith looks up and reaches out to catch the child. "As you will," he replies coldly, moving to walk out of the shelter, and shussh and whistle softly at the boy. Ah, what a headache. But, was it worth it?


Larias glides to the other side of the pool, best be away from the camp right now, else she's liable to spook Rosendo some more, and Llune as well. Selecting a shadowed branch, she sits upon it, as comfortable upon it as a forest born wolfrider would be. Her eyes close, and she attempts to still her mind, High Ones help her, why, why did he have to make her do such things.


Savith paces softly, rocking Rosendo gently, whistling. HE glances at Larias several times, watching her struggle with it. Soon. Soon.


Stirs in her slumber, coming too as the sending magic does not ripple, but erupts from her like a volcano, the brunt of it directed towards Savith. the emotion of the send is black as night, angered and outraged. Blue eyes open and she rises into the air, seething.


Savith was kneeling over Larias, eyes gleaming like cold chips of stone. But at the black send, he recoils, falling backward, as if throw back by the force of it. A pained cry escapes him, waking Rosendo, who immediately begains crying loudly. Savith pants from the blast, writhing under it as it continues.


Larias drops to the ground, her landing silent, eyes cold and stormy unrelenting, unforgiving. But then, Rosendo cries, and her sending is forgotten, something more important must be tended to. With but a thought, she brings her child to her arms, "Hush little one, shh, its over now." So angry though, she can not remove the anger from her voice entirely, poor child, will she use him as a tool against his father now? Is she any better than Winowill?


Savith gasps, trying to catch his breath from teh assault. High ones. That was worse than Winnowill. Probably because Larias could reach his soul without a thought. He rolls to his hands and knees, shaking.


Rosendo continues crying despite Larias's attempts to the contrary. Even the wolfrider guards in the trees know something has just happened, warily eyeing each other, they can smell the emotions heavy in the air. A cold send drifts from the glider to Savith, ** Don't ever try that again. ** That sent, she starts bouncing Rosendo, turning her on Savith. Outraged at what he dared do - he was in her mind, of course she would pour out her hopes and dreams and fears on Elain, not on Savith. And then punish her for his folly, for breaking into her mind. How dare he! Hrmph!


Savith steadies himself, then pushes up, and manages to whisper, "Don't bounce him so hard."


Eases up on the bouncing, Rosendo barely beginning to settle down. The poor hatchling in her arms, not only can he feel her emotions in her sends, but in her arms, they are brutal on his young senses. When a few moments doesn't settle the wee one, she spins around, sending Rosendo in his father's direction, the flight carefully down, "Then you take care of him." Yes, this mom needs a break, else she's likely to break something.


Savith looks up and reaches out to catch the child. "As you will," he replies coldly, moving to walk out of the shelter, and shussh and whistle softly at the boy. Ah, what a headache. But, was it worth it?


Larias glides to the other side of the pool, best be away from the camp right now, else she's liable to spook Rosendo some more, and Llune as well. Selecting a shadowed branch, she sits upon it, as comfortable upon it as a forest born wolfrider would be. Her eyes close, and she attempts to still her mind, High Ones help her, why, why did he have to make her do such things.


Savith paces softly, rocking Rosendo gently, whistling. HE glances at Larias several times, watching her struggle with it. Soon. Soon.


Stirs in her slumber, coming too as the sending magic does not ripple, but erupts from her like a volcano, the brunt of it directed towards Savith. the emotion of the send is black as night, angered and outraged. Blue eyes open and she rises into the air, seething.


Savith was kneeling over Larias, eyes gleaming like cold chips of stone. But at the black send, he recoils, falling backward, as if throw back by the force of it. A pained cry escapes him, waking Rosendo, who immediately begains crying loudly. Savith pants from the blast, writhing under it as it continues.


Larias drops to the ground, her landing silent, eyes cold and stormy unrelenting, unforgiving. But then, Rosendo cries, and her sending is forgotten, something more important must be tended to. With but a thought, she brings her child to her arms, "Hush little one, shh, its over now." So angry though, she can not remove the anger from her voice entirely, poor child, will she use him as a tool against his father now? Is she any better than Winowill?


Savith gasps, trying to catch his breath from teh assault. High ones. That was worse than Winnowill. Probably because Larias could reach his soul without a thought. He rolls to his hands and knees, shaking.


Rosendo continues crying despite Larias's attempts to the contrary. Even the wolfrider guards in the trees know something has just happened, warily eyeing each other, they can smell the emotions heavy in the air. A cold send drifts from the glider to Savith, ** Don't ever try that again. ** That sent, she starts bouncing Rosendo, turning her on Savith. Outraged at what he dared do - he was in her mind, of course she would pour out her hopes and dreams and fears on Elain, not on Savith. And then punish her for his folly, for breaking into her mind. How dare he! Hrmph!


Llune peeks warily outside the tent, startled by the unhappy sends, "Savith? Larias? Where are you?" her eyes slowly adjust to the low lighting and behold the separation between the 2, **What is wrong?** she demans, in her gentle way.


Savith glances over at Llune, then look up toward Larias. He's reply is soft, his head still aching too much to send, "Nothing, Mother."


A glance is given in the direction of the shaped shelter, though none on the ground can see it, safe in her shadowed shelter of a branch. Larias frowns, great, and now Llune is awake and is going to be asking more questions. A hand is brought to her head, oh doesn't she have a headache now herself, to many emotions to quickly, and it was such a lovely sleep before then too.


Llune steps from the shelter, sleep still heavy in her eyes, and notices the upset baby, moving to take him from Savith's arms and coo soft thoughts and lullabys to him, "are you okay?" she asks savith, not seeing Larias anywhere.


Savith lets Llune take the boy from him. "Of course I am," he lies coldly, keeping his eyes away from Llune.


She bounces the babe gently, humming the familiar lullabye, sending all manner of happy, loving thoughts to him, while turning an unwavering eye upon Savith, a stare that (she hopes) will eventually force him to look at her.


And Larias continues brooding, across the pool, up in a tree, hidden in shadows, only the wolfriders would have a chance at spotting her really, they can scent her of course. Llune is not the only staring at Savith, as her own pale blue orbs send daggers his way. Foolish old bird, thinking him friend, maybe more.


Ah, mothers. He finally does look up, stealing himself to meet her gaze. He's silent, but finally gives in, whispering, "Just trying to help her, Mother. Someday, she'll understand."


A heartbeat, and he adds, "But I won't discuss it further." And he turns away.


Llune smiles as gently as possible, and sends **sometimes, things aren't understood until much later... It will be okay...** She snuggles the baby **Rosendo loves the both of you very much.**


She moves to his side and places a warm hand on his shoulder, "I too, love you both very much" she admits.


Larias snorts in her tree branch perch. Help? Bah, help her what? No, he was just being malicious, manipulative, just as those of the Chosen are meant to be, how She has made them. As Llune begins to prattle, Larias shake sher head, High Ones, is that elf blind to what her son does? To what her son has become? With no small amount of effort, she resists swooping down to wreak the havoc. No sense playing as he would.


Savith nods at his mother's touch, but remains silent, head still throbbing. Finally, he smirks, laughing, "You know, I'm not going to sleep for a turn or more now."


Llune hears Larias' faint snort, though can't place where she is, so sends vaguely her direction **I apologize, Larias, please relax - instinct is not always completely correct.** At Savith's words, she squeezes his shoulder, "You will if I must allow Larias to knock you out." She teases softly, trying to lighten the mood... The baby squirms at his sudden lack of attention, and Llune goes back to softly humming that special lullaby


And in resonse to Llune suggestion, Larias actually bothers to send a response, ** Which I will most happily do if there is need. ** Cold, emotionless, the openness so often shown locked tightly behind secure walls. Ahh, yes, there she is, not so high up, with clear view to the camp, she can watch over them, and watch out for him, no longer quite so foolishly trusting.